Now you may not be aware of this, but I own a farm. Or should I say owned. By the time you read this it will be all over. I am a ruined woman. I can't go on any longer.
It all began when I was working on my final assignment for this year for my psychotherapy degree.
Facebook was running on my laptop as I was working, just in case any of my friends should be in need of an urgent chat, and then, out of the blue, I was offered a farm. Well I jumped at the chance, especially, being a lover of the outdoor life. I saw it as a new opportunity to show off my gardening skills, especially following my recent disasterous efforts with my small plot of land in the village.
But this farm has taken over my life. It started innocently enough, as these things often do. I excitedly ploughed a couple of fields and planted some seeds, harvested my first crop of soya beans and began to feel my skills were being recognised. I had a couple of friends offering me cash to use on my farm and even gifts of trees, sheep and pigs. I really came into my own when asked to look after a couple of stray horses that had wandered onto my farm, having always been an easy touch for wandering stallions.
Anyway, before I knew it, I started getting more and more requests, some of them downright impossible to fulfill. It was Helen needing a spare plank of wood here, Nathan, a horse blanket there. I don't believe him to be a real friend at all, just after my extra bricks if you ask me. And what do I get in return? A lousy nail or two, that's all. I am up at the crack of dawn, tending their crops, scaring crows from their farms and feeding their chickens, but ask for a pair of gardening gloves and they are nowhere to be seen. So I have had enough. I can't get any other work done, my assignment remains unfinished, I haven't time to write or even go to the beach. My life is not my own any more. All I hear is "Would you like to send a gift to Harry?" "Would you like some of Charlotte's left over goats milk?" "Would you share your hard earned fuel find with Lindsay?" Well no, quite honestly I wouldn't! Enough is enough, I am selling up.
Well perhaps I'll just check that the cows are ok first...